August 31, 2009
Humans are tough. We can come through the toughest of situations and feel better for it. The problem is why you often wait for something “bad” to happen before you perform at a high level. It can all come down to how you view success and failure in your own reality.
I have four ideas that will change how you feel about your successes and more importantly, you’re so called failures.
1. Know why you do what you are doing.
Are you trying to keep up with the Jones’s or do you actually live each day in order to achieve something you specifically chose to have in your life? Don’t do something just because someone told you to do it. Do what you love and for reasons that benefit you.
2. Can You Or Cant You?
Some people believe they can achieve anything once given the right information as they have determination. Other people have no belief that they are capable of doing anything new. I suggest you just flow with opportunities that come along. If it feels right, do it, if it doesn’t then just let it go and wait for something to come along. Keep yourself in control of what you choose to do.
3. Envy vs Acceptance
People today are more materialistic than ever before. This in turn means envy is part of every day life. Instead of focusing on what you have and how you can get what you want, you focus on being bitter and frustrated about how other people have what you want instead. You can only control your destiny so stop worrying about everyone else’s!
4. The Role Of Fortune
How much of what you have today is done to you acting in a smart, ambitious and efficient way? Can you put everything solely down to you got what you deserved? This is a firm believe of today’s society but what role does fortune and randomness play as well? I accept you can gear yourself up to take up every opportunity that comes you way, but I don’t think you know what opportunities will come your way. There is definite an element of fortune in what every successful person achieves.
So apply these four ideas to your own life. What will become apparent is that you should go for what you want and accept you cannot plan every step of the way. Just make sure whatever path you choose is the one you want, not the one someone else has chosen for you.
Jon Daniels is the founder of the Step Up Speak Out Personal Leadership Program, the step by step system that shows you how to take control of your life and feel self-worth by changing your thinking, building your own self-esteem and giving you the life you actually want. To have direct access to tools, techniques and other resources to help you get more out of your life and build your self-esteem go to http://www.stepupspeakout.co.uk
Influencing People Through Self-Esteem Levels
August 27, 2009
Self-esteem is all about the language you use to describe yourself. How you communicate with yourself will directly manifest itself in your behaviour and social skills. In turn this has a massive impact on your ability to influence other people.
Being in control of your self-esteem is therefore crucial to living the life that you want. By building your own self-esteem you can develop a positive concept about yourself to live and happy and product lifestyle.
Your parents were likely to be the first people you looked up as a child to give you your initial feeling of self-worth. Just imagine that as parent you were able to build your child’s confidence from the outset. It would be like a lifetime present of happiness for them.
Wouldn’t it be good if your child had high self-esteem and were able to act and achieve tasks independently from you at a young age. They would become excellent decisions makers from youth. Making decisions, and enjoying doing it, is a common trait of highly successful people in the world. It’s a skill worth practising.
But let’s flip reserve the situation. What if your child grows up with a poor self-image? They feel unloved by you as a parent. They get into the habit of always blaming other people instead of taking responsibility. As they start to look for new role models they could fall into the wrong crowd and pick up bad traits in an attempt to be someone else. Ultimately this leads to frustration as they feel misunderstand and lack direction to what they truly desire in life.
You can now see how communicating with yourself in the way you want those around you to do so is truly the best way to influence though self-esteem levels.
Are Love And Low Self-Esteem Connected?
August 26, 2009
I know I am the last person in the world to be discussing love. I know I am lucky to have found love. I got the girl of my dreams after all so I cannot be totally ignorant to the subject. What does interest me is how an interpretation by an individual could be connected to self-esteem.
I did some research using this internet thing and found there are 6 styles of love.
First up, there is Eros. These are the people who enjoy the physical passion and romantic nature of a relationship. These highly sensual people want that fairy tale story of love at first sight.
Next are the Ludus, those people who see love as a game to win. It is all about the conquest. Quantity not quality. Love is about overcoming challenges and having fun.
Then there is the slow and steady type, the Storge. These are people who like to make friends first and see how things develop. It is important to find things in common.
The Pragma follow their heads and not their hearts. Finding love to them is liking going shopping, carefully choosing exactly what they desire in a partner
Then come the Mania. These are the obsession and volatile lovers. A relationship is a symbol of happiness to them and it is important that the world sees this as some sort of justification in being a successful human being.
Finally there is the Agape. These are the motherly lovers who see their role to sacrifice their own happiness in order to avoid causing pain for their partner.
So are any of these styles connected to low self-esteem? The Eros live in a fantasy world where there will be a happy ending and the Ludos are the alpha males and females of this world. Neither are likely to be suffering from low self-esteem. Life is about fun to these people.
The Storge and Pragma are all about logic where the danger is a lack of passion or seeing sex as a process rather than a sign of love. Again no self-esteem issues, just a case of needing to let go every now and again and doing things for no good reason.
Then we come to the Mania and Agape. Both are connected to low self-esteem in my opinion.
Both of these styles carry the danger of over reliance. They become so obsessed with making their partners happy that they lose their own identify thus creating low self-esteem. Eventually these people become sad and frustrated as they feel trapped living someone elses life and not the one they dream of.
So which love style sounds like you?
Three Ways To Instantly Boost Your Self-Esteem
August 25, 2009
You get what you focus on in life. If you have low self-esteem it is more than likely every thought you have is just making you feel worse about yourself. You need to snap out of your current mind set and do something different.
I’m sure you are very good at telling people what is wrong with your life. I am going to share with you three ways to start telling people some good things about you.
Firstly, I want you to practice solving problems and making decisions
People with high self-esteem enjoy solving problems, they love the challenge. Think of a problem you are shying away form and come up with three ways to sort the situation out. Keep practicing coming up with solutions then when you click on something that you feel works make the decision and commit to doing it, even better take action straight away. This one tip alone can massively improve your feeling of self-worth.
Secondly, I want you to watch your language.
I don’t mean about using swear words. I mean in terms of saying everything in a positive way. Ban yourself from talking negatively. Avoid using the word problem for example, use the word challenge instead. If someone asks you how you are feeling say “I’m feeling good” instead of “I am not bad”. This way you will be give out a good vibe to other people who in turn send good vibes back to you.
Finally, accept who you are right now,
Do not compare yourself to other people anymore. You are unique already and should appreciate that. I’m sure you can list all the things you want to change which is fine. But just accept yourself as you are now and give yourself a solid starting point to work from.
You are not the same as anyone else, so doing what someone else is doing might not work for you. So don’t try doing it! Do what you want to do for yourself. Be selfish in this as if it makes you happy you will be worth more to other people.
Self-Esteem – The Fuel For Motivation
August 24, 2009
What makes people different? Some people can get straight up in the morning and are ready to take on the world. Others have to force themselves to get up as they barely can stomach the thought of having to do anything with their day.
The difference is self-esteem. Its those who took the time to find themselves and choose a direction against those who just want to make excuses for not doing anything so they can wallow in self-pity about the past.
Do you make sure you enjoy the good times, love to learn new things and take feedback in the good spirit it was intended or do you brush aside anything good as an accident and start sulking the moment anyone comments on what you are doing?
I know I am using two extremes here, there are the more complex of you who hang around in the middle. You know, you feel good about yourself when things are going well but don’t like taking risks. You like to follow the path set out by others instead. The fear of failure outweighs your desire to achieve. This means that failure is very personal and you will do anything to avoid being in that position.
So how to you motivate these different styles of personality?
Simple, just make sure you have the right ingredients for each person as an individual. Understand what they want. Challenge them to be realistic and nurture them with the feedback in the style that makes them motivated.
Communication is the key. A message is only as good as how the person who receives it interprets in their world, not yours. Just think what you need to change in your approach with the different people you interact with so you make sense in their reality.
